Flesh World

Tracks and Lyrics

1. 1 Black Sheep Wall

   Lyrics:
   i dont know if it’ll ever settle, maybe i’m naive to expect it to?
   i mean
   there’s no reciprocity here, just plutocracy for you
   you too.
   by the time i navigate my stressors, id be better off used as glue.
   prevention is nine tenths of a cure for me and you.

    

   and like william shanks spruce island one thousand pieces written in isolation for himself in a shack.
   Writing pieces noone will ever hear in a chair
   because THAT’S how art works

   Spinning crazy sober in my bed like a nap is performance art now.
   slices up to simple colours broken down to smallest parts.
   these never stuck like a hook and a loop, its more like delusions I hold so dear
   a worlds within your words, a walled city.
   a worlds within your words

   I mean artists will say shit like “theres no shortcuts on the path to perfection” then move side to side for a decade
   Sure, the days keep coming- but the circumstances dont stay the same.

   About:
   When I went into the studio for this album I had just picked up the Vhikk X and when we tracked all the vocal processing I thought it would be fun to do a drone with it, which evolved into this song after adding a kick and then eventually lyrics. Lyrically this one is a bunch of unrelated ideas from my notes with a pitch shift lfo. The self indulgent nature of creatives shows up a lot throughout this album.
2. 2 Bacteriophage

   Lyrics:
   crystals banging on my ear, diamond scraping against the cone,
   I’ve been out here so long I start to feel the aching in my bones.
   I can’t stand the truth? find not even a place at which I atone,
   best start making a nest in this dumpster and juggle these magic stones.

    

   man is the virus
   man is the virus
   man is the virus
   bacteriophage

   so I cant give a fuck no more
   getting my chemicals from the store
   what point does the sheen wear off the fantasy?
   and show me these memories were just atropy.

   man is the virus
   man is the virus
   man is the virus
   bacteriophage

   About:
   I was trying to create a 303-esque sound with this one, like many things, it landed nothing like that but I’m happy with it. Lyrics here expand on the ideas in LNWLTST about shitty ideas and behaviour germinating, expanding here to encapsulate all.
3. 3 Wooden Nickels

   Lyrics:
   control and orientation of housing is never something we should have left in the hands of private enterprise and the landlord class.
   what’s the worst that can happen?

    

   were all just one bad day away from doing it
   just one paycheque missed from the end
   gutter circling drains my boots are filled with shit
   kick the can down the road while my debt pays dividends

   What year is it? how old am I?
   Drone strike paints the fucking sky.
   What year is it? how old am I?
   Drone strike paints the fucking sky.

   never made it south of Hội An so I moved to little saigon,
   concerns about the option count? I wanna see the whole box gone.
   So she broke into our basement apartment in a frenzy,
   I got no time left, have to give me that shit with energy.

   What year is it? how old am I?
   Drone strike paints the fucking sky.
   What year is it? how old am I?
   Drone strike paints the fucking sky.

   infinite growth forever, no sense avoiding expectations
   if only everything was infinite, wrought our land of speculation

   About:
   “what’s the worst that can happen?” Canadian Housing prices surged ~130% since mid-90s; Employment income barely climbed; affordability sky-rocketed (price-to-income ratios near 8–12×). Being evicted every year really takes its toll on you, this song I mention our landlord broke into our apartment, this really happened on Christmas Eve in 2022, for no reason.
4. 4 Ghosts

   Lyrics:
   Grinding my bones down to dust
   You can smell the marrow like a calcium ghost
   But I’m tucked behind the vent so we both can rust
   Loaded up the one I trust the most.

    

   Hearing footsteps growing closer, how?
   I’m caught in the between.
   Here I sing: smelling lithium now,
   Going flat out, to stay unseen.

   Static thoughts, empty face
   Concrete veins, looks like im losing space
   No other options, no other choices
   Banged out flash to cut out the noises
   Static thoughts, empty face
   Concrete veins, looks like im losing space
   No other options, no other choices
   Banged out flash to cut out the noises

   Grinding my bones down to dust
   You can smell the marrow like a calcium ghost
   But I’m tucked behind the vent so we both can rust
   Loaded up the one I trust the most.

   Counterattack- you’ll see: glasses shot out, fashioned killing spree.
   Counterattack- you’ll see: glasses shot out, fashioned killing spree.
   Counterattack- you’ll see: glasses shot out, fashioned killing spree.
   Counterattack- you’ll see: glasses shot out, fashioned killing spree.

   No exits, burning cloth, shattered glass, wave like SPLASH,
   Like a noise lawyer zipped out in a black ski mask.
   Made exits burnt across, shattered glass. wave like SPLASH,
   Like a noise lawyer zipped out, in a black ski mask

   About:
   This was originally a songwriting exercise I did that my friend suggested, where we were trying to tell a story (non-metaphorical) literally talking about it like an action novel, did it work out? As lyrics yes, as the exercise? maybe, as a song? not really hahaha.
5. 5 Flesh World

   Lyrics:
   so we laughed till we cried, for our tears were wrought from these spaces.
   it still warms my heart to see you make the same stupid fucking faces.
   at this point, over and over, given up expecting closure for my past mistakes.
   but it never stopped me from perpetuating this shame.

    

   bangin on my ceiling like rasputin: cohesive
   so we fed the crumbs to the pigeons: persuasive

   play my roles as pacifist: faces
   i’m too fuckin old for this shit: jaded
   play my roles as pacifist: faces
   i’m too fuckin old for this shit: jaded

   About:
   The title track, the adult magazine on Twin Peaks, was Flesh World. I don’t know how I feel about the show yet (I haven’t finished season 3 as of writing), but I really like that as a title. TFS has A Laughing Death in Meatspace. I really, really loved that name, and this is in a similar vein. ANYWAY.

    

   This song is about lifelong friends. I don’t know if I’m just a weirdo because I don’t have any siblings, but those relationships are really important to me. When we were younger, especially, those friends were the funniest people. The verse is like: you can either laugh or cry, so boy did we laugh. We all had pretty rough times then, for a litany of reasons, but we were always able to laugh about it and poke fun at ourselves with enthusiasm.

   And then, because I’m a miserable asshole, I contrast that with some other relationships in my life. Living in a flop house during COVID, the walls were thin as paper and, for 20 hours a day, my room sounded like the intro to Rasputin by Boney M. It goes on to talk about what it’s like to try to work with people who are unwilling to compromise.

6. 6 Gloved

   Lyrics:
   But it fits like a glove, like it was always meant to be,
   I feel the sand slipping away, like my grip don’t belong to me.

    

   nothing exists in a vacuum, not you or I, or our choices consumed,
   not rumination, moments of respite
   nothing assumed.

   But it fits like a glove, like it was always meant to be,
   I feel the sand slipping away, like my grip don’t belong to me.

   What the hell Is water anyway? identity never ready made,
   Ask myself how a year or two could fold half a decade.

   But it fits like a glove, like it was always meant to be,
   I feel the sand slipping away, like my grip don’t belong to me.

   it’s funny to look back in a false light,
   to see the way we knew we weren’t even then.
   but still aspired to be without sight,
   even if it’s too late now to care when.

   But it fits like a glove, like it was always meant to be,
   I feel the sand slipping away, like my grip don’t belong to me.

   About:
   Speaking of COVID, heres a song about how time goes by so fucking fast, moved out on my own for the first time in February 2020, blinked, now I’m in my 30s, wtf happened.
7. 7 Amber Skies

   Lyrics:
   amber skies, come burn me from the inside,
   kerosine bile lights the fire, I’m born to provide.
   rampant distrust melts the sunsets acid trails,
   chase me down the pond, reflected setting sail.

    

   chariots of fire strung out, cliches filling the air,
   every day looks like Sterling, Gibson, Shiner, Cadigan, and Bear.
   chariots of fire strung out, cliches filling the air,
   every day looks like Sterling, Gibson, Shiner, Cadigan, and Bear.

   About:
   Sorry, I tried to scream on this one because the vocals needed something raw. The idea here was to create an image where your stomach was full of gas and someone threw a literal match in there, and you had to expel it like a dragon. It sounded a lot less silly while I was writing it, but bEcAuSe Im An ArTiSt MaN iT hAs A dOuBlE mEaNiNg mAn.

    

   The second part, “chariots of fire strung out,” if you look up that song it is a very cinematic, movie trailer style classical piece. That is meant to draw a contrast between our clown world and fiction.

   “Every day looks like Sterling, Gibson, Shiner, Cadigan, and Bear.” Stephenson did not have the same ring here unfortunately, but you know the meme, “You best start believing in cyberpunk dystopias, you’re in one.”

8. 8 Sandstorm 2

   Lyrics:
   ONE: it’s just white noises in a sandstorm blowing shit,
   TWO: only one way out this life, better focus on living it.
   THREE: it’s all just pink noises in a shitstorm flinging hits,
   FOUR: only one way out this life, better focus on living it.

    

   so ask me, what would jesus do?
   probably run a marketplace scam or two.
   or be an apologist for this current hell,
   selling handcuffs in a prison cell.

   it’s fun to write about life’s malaise
   when you dont change a thing anyways
   take a fucking moment for my wallet to find
   stupid neurotic fucking wormhole in my mind

   ONE: it’s just white noises in a sandstorm blowing shit,
   TWO: only one way out this life, better focus on living it.
   THREE: it’s all just pink noises in a shitstorm flinging hits,
   FOUR: only one way out this life, better focus on living it.

   ONE: it’s just white noises in a sandstorm blowing shit,
   TWO: only one way out this life, better focus on living it.
   THREE: it’s all just pink noises in a shitstorm flinging hits,
   FOUR: only one way out this life, better focus on living it.

   so ask me, what would jesus do?
   probably run a marketplace scam or two.
   or be an apologist for this current hell,
   selling handcuffs in a prison cell.

   it’s fun to write about life’s malaise
   when you don’t change a thing anyways
   take a fucking moment for my wallet to find
   stupid neurotic fucking wormhole in my mind

   About:
   This is the only syntakt song on this album, originally this instrumental was for EMS new years stream, it then appeared at some bizarre “artist promo” discussion panel here in vancouver (I didnt attend as they asked the performers to pay to play) as Da Rude Sand Storm, a dumb joke in the lineage of AJJ songs like Zombie by the Cranberries by Andrew Jackson Jihad or People II 2: Still Peoplin’. Sandstorm 2: Electriic Boogaloo at one point even haha.

    

   ANYWAY
   The chorus came from some one liner notes I had, Max suggested counting might help make this work, and it totally did, the verse “so ask me, what would jesus do? probably run a marketplace scam or two.” comes from a specific facebook marketplace scam someone tried to pull on me, when confronted they sent a 4 page thing about how jesus joseph and mary all could vouch for them and their church.

9. 9 Knots

   Lyrics:
   uh-huh, this my shit
   all the girls stomp your feet like this

    

   some years this shits an endless loop
   boiling frogs, untill my consciousness is soup
   but id never coalesce just to avoid the pain
   told you id be writing about the mundane

   living with your regrets big and small
   tying knots in an abandoned mall
   few times I’ve been around that track
   but i just got my shoelaces back

   is it better to feel bad than nothing at all?
   tying these knots in a legion hall
   few times I’ve been around that track
   but i just got my shoelaces back

   living with your regrets big and small
   tying knots in an abandoned mall
   few times I’ve been around that track
   but i just got my shoelaces back

   seems like those memories are attached to the outside of my brain, or the inside of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids the insides of my eyelids

   About:
   The original one liner was like, hollaback girl but its about reciving your shoeslaces back from a grippy sock vacation, it really didnt end up being very similar but hey, I think it works.
10. 10 Mattress Made of Daggers

    Lyrics:
    so now I am the beggar, and i’ll be brewing nightmares on a mattress made of daggers.
    some shits been around so long the original meaning is gone, old cold feelings come to roost, like amoeba in my brain they spawn.

     

    dynamic mechanic spanner spinning on display
    that hasnt left the house in 40 some odd days
    rorschach testing me? half a decade was yesterday
    a quiet mayhem here, here to stay

    and I, saw no reflection of myself, there in your eyes
    determination and the ethics, still have the will, the will to try

    dynamic mechanic spanner spinning on display
    that hasnt left the house in 40 some odd days
    rorschach testing me? half a decade was yesterday
    a quiet mayhem here, here to stay

    aint no path out of these seams
    shred the ripper till the end of your skin can gleam

    About:
    When I was taking bass lessons with someone I really idealize I wrote this originally, I really like these lyrics even if theyre kinda bastardized here to make it work with the instrumental, again touching on themes about time going by way too fast.
11. 11 Nodes

    Lyrics:
    looking back now just to see,
    with nodes that branch out my circuitry.
    wipe dust from my shoulders, and trash from the street,
    rewriting it internally.

     

    Assume the worst in people and you’ll make it so
    We all do things that we regret
    Truth gets twisted just to soften the blow
    And silence is easier to forget

    oh i was thinking about killing myself,
    but these knots wont tie themselves.
    i tie the laces from the end of this bed,
    go step with stride into this hell ahead.

    but i have so much to live for see,
    non-blood brothers and family.
    i never could have asked for more,
    than a used ring, a cat, and our basement floor.

    looking back now just to see,
    with nodes that branch out my circuitry.
    wipe dust from shoulders, and trash from the street.
    rewriting it internally.

    Assume the worst in people and you’ll make it so
    We all do things we regret
    Truth gets twisted just to soften the blow
    And silence is easier to forget.

    About:
    This song tries to confront pessimism but ultimately concedes that its often a justified worldview if youre not an asshole about it, it was written backwards from the final two lines.
12. 12 Two Minds

    Lyrics:
    i’m of two minds now, as always
    wired for fear, and programmed to wait
    but his feedback hum won’t let me stray
    lifetime of regret, a risk too great

     

    and i’ve been running down the aisles
    yardsold myself and mind’s lined single file
    breakneck back exposed
    under dumpsters to hail

    i’m of two minds now, as always
    wired for fear, and prone once again to hate
    but 60-cycle hum won’t let me stay
    this lifetime of regret, a risk too great

    and i’ve been running down the aisles
    yardsold myself and minds lined single file
    breakneck back exposed
    under dumpsters to hail

    i’m of two minds now, as always
    wired for fear, and programmed to wait
    but his feedback hum won’t let me stray
    lifetime of regret, a risk too great

    About:
    This songs about chronic ambivalence basically, I also hoped to do some more of that writing that paints a literal picture, here of homelessness, which appears a lot on the album, trying to express anxiety about being housed/staying housed. “lifetime of regret, a risk too great” is another one liner about missed opportunities I really like. Life is short dont let the important things slip by being an ambivilent wreck.